East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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