The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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