worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
