Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
