Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
