And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
