apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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