I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
