Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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