My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
