I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
