Heybabeimwearingurpanties
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize