i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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