On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
