Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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