What a fucking waste of an outfit
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
