right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize