im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
