i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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