What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
