like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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