I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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