I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
