Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
