he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
