I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
