Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
