i may or may not be watching the land before time
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
