You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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