it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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