You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
