I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
