I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize