Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
MIDGETS
????
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
