did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i think my tv is drunk
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
