Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
