She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
