you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
