how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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