bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize