Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
