You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am naked and annoyed.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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