first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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