after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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