I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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