He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
