Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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