Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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