My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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