and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
