She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
