you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
