sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
