I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
