i just had sex bonerless
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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