Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
