I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
