Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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