i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
