I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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