I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
