wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize