i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
