He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
