There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
