Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
