So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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