My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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