I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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