I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There's even glitter on my cock...
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