either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
