the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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