I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
